The Reluctant Swinging Spouse

One of the first things that should be done before deciding whether to swing or not is for a couple to sit down and discuss the pros and cons of getting into the lifestyle. The first overriding question should be whether both partners are comfortable with having sex with others in the lifestyle. One of the spouses should never attempt to emotionally force the other to join the swinging lifestyle.

As a swinging couple, we have witnessed the consequences of one spouse attempting to force the other spouse to be in the lifestyle. We have been at house parties where it is quite apparent that one of the spouses is not comfortable with the swinging lifestyle. In most cases, it is usually the male that is urging the reluctant female to swing.

Forcing a reluctant spouse to participate in swinging can lead to consequences that are not a pretty sight. We experienced first hand one such case of a couple whose husband was pushing his wife to participate in the lifestyle. The male had frequently emailed me and had indicated that he and his wife were eager to meet other couples. After a series of public meetings and emails, the couple came to our home. The bottom line is that the couple ended up leaving with all parties being upset.

As a side note, before meeting a couple, you should always attempt to ask questions in order to make sure that both spouses are interested in the lifestyle. If you sense reluctance, move on. Most in the lifestyle do not want drama.